The Ex's and Why's

              When it comes to love, wala naman talagang expert. We fall in love, and then we fall out of it; magiging in a relationship tayo, next thing we knew, natapos na pala; lovers kayo yesterday pero ngayon, strangers na lang. It is just a continuous cycle of finding someone to love but eventually losing them along the way. Etong “someone” na nahahanap natin pero nawawala din ay ang tinatawag nating  “ex”, or  “past”, or isang “old flame”, whichever term you would like to call it. These “exes” remind us that when things are not meant, it never will be kaya hindi natin kailangang ipilit. Alam man natin o hindi ang reason kung bakit nawala sila sa buhay natin, we just have to be okay that they got away.

                So, without further introductions, let’s head to the real fuzz that we have here: The Kinds of Ex You Will Have Along the Way and Why It Didn’t Work Out.

          1.  The Instant Lover

Description/Characteristics: Eto yung ex that you just had because you want to experience what it feels like to have someone to be in a relationship with. Parang ganito, lahat ng friends mo eh may jowa or special someone na at nakikita mo kung gaano sila kasaya pag kasama ang mga jowa nila. Dahil parang type mo din ng ganun, when you found one that could be your instant partner/date, you initiated a relationship kahit na parang hindi mo pa naman siya gaanong love. Minsan naman, nagkakaroon tayo ng ganitong klase ng ex dahil ayaw natin maging “the-forever single” or “the-lagi-na-lang-third-wheel” sa barkada.

Why It Didn’t Work Out: Simple, there was no love or if there was love, it is not already established between the two of you. Ang love, hindi yan parang instant noodles na konting kulo lang at halo ng condiments, pwede na. Iba pa rin talaga kapag niluto mo eto ng may totoong sahog at pagmamahal.

          2. The Best Actor

Description/Characteristics: Ang ex naman na eto ay pwede mong bigyan ng award sa hindi matatawarang pag-arte na sobrang love ka niya when the truth is,  hindi pa siya nakakamove-on sa ex niya. Chances are, lagi ka niyang sasabihan ng sweet nothings (na minsan ay nakakainis na sa sobrang corny pero gusto ng ex niya) and give you special material gifts (na hindi man lang niya tinanong kung gusto mo pero gusto pala ng ex niya) because masyado siyang comfortable doing it without even realizing na sa ibang tao na pala niya ginagawa ang mga gingagawa niya dati para sa ex niya.

Why It Didn’t Work Out: Nobody really gets a happy ending with a rebound relationship. Kung ang present mo eh stuck pa din sa ex nya, mas tama na maging ex mo na din siya para quits kayo. Past is past, kumbaga.

          3. The Self-Centered Freak

Description/Characteristics: This kind of ex ay ang ex natin na we didn’t end up with because hindi natin kayang sabayan ang pagiging “sobrang perfect” niya. Eto yung tipong sa inyong dalawa, siya lagi yung “mas”: Mas magaling, mas matalino, mas mabait, mas love ka, and the list goes on. This person always wants to be the center of attention kaya kapag hindi ni-recognize ang simpleng achievement niya, nagtatampo siya. Kapag may misunderstandings kayo, kahit siya ang may kasalanan, it’s you who need to initiate reconciliation. Minsan naman, may mga sinasabi siya na bawal mo gawin pero pag siya, pwede.

Why It Didn’t Work Out: You simply cannot live with unfair situations. Kung sobrang perfect niya, baka mas bagay sila ng isang tao na sobrang perfect din kagaya niya. In that way, you won’t feel inferior when you’re together.

           4. The Mysterious Type

Description/Characteristics: Siya ang ex na pa-mysterious ang peg. Yun tipong ang tagal niyo nang magkasama pero parang madami ka pa ring hindi alam tungkol sa kanya. Nasabi mo na lahat ng kwento tungkol sa’yo, sa parents mo, sa friends mo, sa kapitbahay niyo, sa friends ng kapitbahay niyo pero parang hindi mo pa din siya lubos na kilala. Like, you already gave your full self pero siya, parang laging may kulang. Okay naman kayo, walang masyadong problema pero minsan mapapaisip ka na, “Siya ba talaga yung gusto ko?”

Why It Didn’t Work Out: Privacy is important to a relationship but it is not as important as love. Sometimes, people get lost with words that they do not know how to convey their feelings so they just keep it to themselves. Your relationship didn’t work out dahil masyado kayong naging strange sa isa’t-isa. Although lagi kayong magkasama, hindi niyo namalayan na marami pa din pala kayong hindi napapag-usapan o naii-share sa bawat isa.

           5. The Closeted Lover

Description/Characteristics: Many times, we get hurt with unexpected circumstances but unexpected as they are, they really aren't always gonna be good. In love, there is also a fortuitous event that we don’t want to happen. It is when our lover turns out to be gay. Hay, mahirap naman talaga na sa tagal ng pagsasama niyo, saka mo pa lang malalaman na hindi pala kayo pwede, na kaya pala magkasundo kayo sa lahat ng bagay kasi pareho pala kayo ng gusto. Natuwa ka na may nakakasama kang mamili ng mga gamit or damit mo, yun pala malulungkot ka lang pag nalaman mo na yun din pala ang gusto niya para sa kanya given the chance.

Why It Didn’t Work Out:  Reality hurts. Kahit na sobrang mahal mo siya, mahirap i-accept ang totoong pagkatao niya at hindi mo rin gugustuhin na pigilan niya ang totoong nararamdaman niya para lang sumaya ka. Medyo unfair na i-pursue ang isang tao na alam mong hindi ikaw  ang talagang gusto.

          6. The Obsessed One

Description/Characteristics: Siya ang ex na hindi mo na-take ang sobrang pagmamhal sa ‘yo that it sometimes led to being obsessed. To describe, siya yun tipo na: overprotective (to the point na ayaw niya na may ibang tao kang nakikilala o nakakasalamuha); insecure (to the point na may makatext, makausap o makasalubong ka lang na kakilala, iniisip agad na hihiwalayan mo na siya) at overacting (to the point na ang lahat lang ng gusto niya ang dapat gawin mo, pag hindi mo sinunod, hindi mo na siya mahal).

Why It Didn’t Work Out: Siyempre, kung wala kang freedom, magtatagal ka ba? Yung plan nga may Freedom eh, ikaw pa? Hindi mo rin naman siguro pinangarap na maging isang kalapati na nakakulong sa hawla di ba?

          7.  The PDA Type

Description/Characteristics: PDA- from the meaning itself. Need I say more? Well, eto yun ex na sa sobrang sweet eh bet na bet ang PDA. Wala namang masama sa PDA kung hindi eto sobra na minsan eh masama nang tingnan. Andiyan yung pag-pinch ng konti then hug, then maya-maya stolen kisses na. Okay lang naman, kaso minsan talaga eh awkward na.

Why It Didn’t Work Out: You cannot really explain the feeling. Siguro nainis ka na lang at nagsawa sa ganoong set-up.

          8. The Work-In-Progress

Description/Characteristics: Eto naman ang ex mo na nagbreak na lang kayo, hindi mo pa rin alam kung ano naging finished product niya. Siya yung klase ng tao na sa sobrang at ease sa present na buhay eh parang ayaw nang maglevel-up at parang kontento na lang sa pagiging Work-In-Progress. Halimbawa, priority mo ang magtrabaho kasi makakatulong sa future yun, pero siya hindi. Hindi naman masama na mabuhay tayo sa present, nagiging masama lang ito kung wala na talaga tayong plano para sa future.

Why It Didn’t Work Out: You cannot grow as a person if someone you’re in a relationship with doesn’t want to grow either. Who knows, the day you separated is also the day that your ex realized that in a relationship, it is important to have the same priorities. Naging ex mo siya kasi na-feel mo na you deserve someone better or that you could have a better life kapag wala na kayo.

                Love is indeed a cycle of finding the wrong ones until we end up with the ones rightfully destined for us. No matter how good or bad our previous relationships were, they still deserve to be treasured because without them, we won’t learn a lesson that will help on our next love affair. Though past is past, our “ex” are simply the best representation that if we want something, we just have to wait because everything has the right timing.

          This ends my list of “Exes” that we’ll meet in our lives. Do you have any other “Ex- related” experiences? Please feel free to share it by leaving a comment below.

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